Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...