Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

I really want to fuck my wifes sister.

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(818): View more from California

Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(305): View more from Florida

Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.

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(702): View more from Nevada

whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.

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(214): View more from Texas

If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.

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(941): View more from Florida

I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.

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(516): View more from New York

I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt

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