The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up