were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.