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• (512): View more from Texas

  were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (760): View more from California

  Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.

  (1-760): View more from California

  Party city is having a sale on maracas

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?

  (707): View more from California

  ...did you eat that brownie?

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.

  (917): View more from New York City

  Gotta love Minnesota

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• (916): View more from California

  There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.

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