i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
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The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
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You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me