i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
