I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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