My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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