he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
