one two three fourrrrnication!
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
