Define "chronic" masturbator.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
