You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
two words: eviction party
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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