Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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