if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
