wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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