There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
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