I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
