You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
