Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
