I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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