I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
