i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We don't watch enough power rangers
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
