just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
