She announced her abortion via fbk
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
