Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
