We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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