At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
