May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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