Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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