yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize