I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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