did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
do herpes really smell.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
