we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
