you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
