do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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