He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
