You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
