Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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