We won't sleep together?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize