I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
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