He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
