is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize