My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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