So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
