I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
