well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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