i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
