i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
