don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
