i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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