it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
