It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
