is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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