Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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