You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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