do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
