Tell her she can't have a vagina
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize