4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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