She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
