yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
