I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
