Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
