i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize