I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
