Non-Jews are for practice
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
