Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
