I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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