Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
