You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
